ZIXUANNNNNNNN

2010-08-30T13:51:00.002+08:00

Sometimes , things just have to let go .
leave the pain aside , leave those memories aside ,
think about it , why things turn out this way .

2010-08-19T08:09:00.002+08:00

或许我不再出现爱才值得你怀念

你也不想见见了也不变
你痛苦转身的局面
或许我放的坚决你才允许让回忆浮现

2010-08-19T07:27:00.002+08:00

Life , is just as boring ...
what's love ? i dont want to know anymore .

what happen to you ? thought you promise me no more trouble for yourself ?
what happen ? i dont have th rights to care ,
bye .

2010-08-17T11:24:00.001+08:00

will not be updating my this blog account often , please sms me for my new blog link . thanks .

2010-07-16T10:11:00.000+08:00

it has been 3 weeks since we broke off , but this relationship i held it on too tight , getting myself hurt again and again . When i wake up , i am always full of tears , i dont know why i fall asleep . maybe cry until too tired lerhs bahs , and 6 more days is heading our 10 month you know mahs ? hahaha! not happy ? i am happy , i am thinking how are we gonna celebrate , and later i want to get a tattoo done ! ^^ i cant accept the facts you are gone for 3 weeks . <3 bye .

2010-07-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

Can all this pain stop , when pain are unbearable , i held it tight . when tears are uncontrolable , i close my eyes . when everything in my world seems to stop , i blast music in my own world .

2010-07-05T19:33:00.000+08:00

Time to update my half dead blog ^^

Today was the first day of the hell , and i didnt make it , because i was sleeping ^^ , in the end , th cow head called my handphone . ask me tommorow must make it to hell . than i jiu okok lor , Today was talking to weiqiang from mid night 12am to 5 am , super shag than i wake my fat pig brother up thats why i didnt make it to hell . Now i am still in my sleeping mood , but have to wait until midnight than i sleep if not later sure wake up again . okok ^^ that all i want to type ! ~ bye love .

2010-07-03T13:34:00.000+08:00

Bye Love .

We are not meant to be , lets cry and forget .

2010-06-23T00:02:00.000+08:00

Happy 9 month.

We make it through th 9 month ,

i know there is alot of quarreling ,

but , my love for will you will never end .

2010-06-17T16:55:00.000+08:00

Tattoo

After putting one tattoo , you will got th urge to put the second one , than more & more. Is hard to take care , really hard . My tattoo, really very jialat liaos , than know how to say , see will feel like crying . Baby is also putting tattoo , but not so soon , but his will sure be a big one . i want to put the seond one, but i dont know how to tell him , is sure a nono . than will end up quarreling . So is time to think... what can i say to let him allow me to put th second one .

Life

BORED ! next monday going to bring one of my friend to put her tattoo , i feel bad asking people put tattoo -.- , i told my tattoo artist when he see my tattoo , he will faint , he was like what happen to your tattoo ? i say idk -.- everything just went wrong . than he say dont worry , i will touch up for you . but ... nemind , let him see the tattoo than he say bahs .

Promise will upload more picture after my sickness is gone !

2010-06-13T17:07:00.000+08:00

Did my tattoo yesterday , a nice one . but i dont like th eyes, so i'm thinking if i can do something to th eyes anot , got a craving of putting more and more tattoo . I have totally no idea what to put . Thanks my wonderful brother ^^ help me apply lotion on my tattoo .

2010-06-08T13:15:00.000+08:00

i'm bored , so here to type some rubbish , going to have tattoo done on saturday , hope appointment has been made . asked friend to make th appointment for me . Life is boring . YAWN ! super tired now adays . yesterday , have a fun day playing majong . hope there is more majong sessssions ! and CHALET ~ i want chalet ....... ok la, that all .

2010-06-04T21:47:00.000+08:00

How can i describle my pain ? who can i talk to ? the pain is really unbearable , why must you always come and leave ? never mind , i am just tired , you want leave jiu leave bahs . what could i say more ? what reason is there for me to keep you ? take care bahs .

2010-05-31T23:03:00.000+08:00

Life is getting alot better , but i am down with sickness , maybe going to get a job , to pay for my tattoo ~ after so so so long , finally really planning for my body art . Craving for tattoo since few years back , but ... tattoo you have to find a nice one~ is with you forever . ok la , too tired to type . bye !

2010-05-30T02:01:00.000+08:00

How long can i still hold on with my smile ? i miss you . i know , i am nothing to you now , i have never feel pain so badly before . For you , everything is worth . i hope you could faster find somebody that care for you . The pain , is unbearable ): everything has end , dont worry (:

* i still love you .

2010-05-26T12:56:00.000+08:00

Going through blog after blog . Looking at those pretty girls with those handsome faithful boyfriend .Sometimes , i will think , will any boy stay faithful for me ? i'm not doubting my boyfriend or what , is just that , who knows what really is his heart thinking , The facts is i am ugly , sometimes i feel that i dont fit to be love , so fat and ugly .see so many friends , so pretty . omg ! i dont wish to stand beside them , beacause i will spoil the picture ): there waas once , my boyfriend say i think my girlfriend is pretty . i tell you i LAUGH my life out . my friends also laugh Maybe , that was the special thing i love about him , he see things different than other people see . i swear ! those super pretty de he say ugly . sometimes, i was like BI ! open your eyes ! ^^

2010-05-23T19:40:00.000+08:00

Gonna update this half dead blog , since i am bored ! (:

Today

Just came back from malaysia , not long , went over there , was thinking what to buy for baby (: than i buy his favourite LAOPO BING . eat super lots of things , and i am getting fatter and fatter each day , omg . got to cut down on food ~

Him

Feel something so empty . (: maybe , is because he work than he busy , than he jiu forget me , thought he will sms me , but always those short short sms . Dont ask me if he loves me anot , i cant answer because i dont know . so dont ask (: happy 8 months and one day (: heading 9 months . hope we can last bahs .

Boy , i missing you so badly ):
Hope to see you soon ! (:
I guess i am falling deeper and deeper for you (:
imy ! Let fate decide our future (:

2010-05-21T22:23:00.000+08:00

Friends

What are friends ? Friends are those who will be there when you need them , today , i saw what are my friends (: friends are when we never chat everyday , we never meet every week , and a phone call away and they will be there , i thought you guys are the best , i thought you guys wont have the childish talk . Got boyfriend dont need us ? since want say until like that , jiu say , i wont change the way you think of me . you guys say you guys will understand ... never mind no point countinued typing all this in my blog .

Sometimes , when i need you .
where are you ?

2010-05-20T19:47:00.000+08:00

Morning

Today early morning , hubby went over to amk to accompany me to school (: than jiu go , all the way to tampinese (: thanks hubby and he make breakfast for me to eat (: .

After school

After school jiu went over to meet hubby (: than i was in the shop i jiu say , eh i want this ~ than after that i jiu go walk walk , than he jiu go back work than he suddenly walk toward me than pass me a plastic bag than i jiu say what is this ? than he jiu walk back go work than is the things i want , omg ! i super happy (: was smiling to myself . hahaahhaah!

Hubby thanks !

2010-05-19T23:25:00.002+08:00

Happy 8 months in advance (:

Time passes so fast and 2 more days is a day to celebrate (: sometimes , your empty promises did break my heart to so many pieces )': of course it take a lot of courage to stand up again, evendo is still hurt very badly (: so many times , you treat me like a little princess , i still throw my big baby tantrum at you , you did not get angry but you just come and cheer me up , you try and try , even when i start saying all the hurting words , you just hug me tight , your hug never fail to turn me to a big teddy bear (: sometimes , i just want to tell you , you are my everything , you are my world . i know you treasure all the thing i gave to you , i really happy that you really like the stuff i give you . sometimes i took away the present i gave you , is that i want you to know that i want you to accompany me ): sorry ): if i gave you a wrong idea . all the breaking up and all the baby tantrum is just that i want more attention from you. i really love you (: sorry for not trusting you , i am really afraid that you leave me ): sometimes i will tell myself i already have you , what more can i still ask for ?

You make me believe in fairytale .

you make me believe there is love

you make me know that love can change everybody to a fool .

Thanks for your everything .

2010-05-19T10:24:00.000+08:00

i <3 him always .

DADDDDDDDDDDY~

Sorry for not updating this few days . now i am free s

o i wil take this time to update this few pictures (:

enjoy myself at the chalet (:

NSRCC

2010-05-13T22:24:00.000+08:00

My Life

Life with hubby is getting much much much better (: smile only appear in both our face , lesser tears & more laughters . but the fear in me thinking that he will leave me is still there . FEAR can you leave me alone ? ):

2010-05-11T15:34:00.000+08:00

Mirror mirror , i know i am the biggest fool of all .

Life isn't anyway better now , my relationship with mr. Tanshanhui , may have improved alot but , there are still alot of problems for me to face with him , hope problems will end soon (: Thanks , Mr.Tanshanhui for being there whenever i need you (: Thanks for changing for me . i can see it (: this time, your actions prove me everything (:

School _l_

School work is getting more and more , and is stressing me like fuck . all my blame for missing school for 2 to 3 months . this is what happen when skip school for too long , super regret . now i am far far far behind my classmates but i believe with mr Tanshanhui accompany me (: i can do my best in my studies .

baby, i am going to face everything with you .

2010-05-06T23:08:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating my blog for this few days!

APOLOGISE ):

Going to update more pictures soon ! (:

byeeeee!

2010-05-05T23:18:00.002+08:00

I <3 my red red contact lens (:

2010-05-04T14:26:00.000+08:00

i have enough of trying , and i will leave you for good , remember to take care of yourself when i am not around , if can stop smoking i will really be happy . is just a matter of you want to quit smoking or dont want quit . got the heart i sure you can . (: i will remember you froever . i promise ! (: by the time, you are reading this post . i will not be around you le . 220909 , still will be forever . because this will be the last ! (: Must find a new girlfriend , that understand you more , love you more , care for you more & lastly wont show you attitude . ILOVEYOU ! that all i want to say . bye! ~ Wei Li & i will love you . (:

2010-05-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

Life is not getting better in anyway , thousand and one quarrel with shanhui , dont even know we could struggle how long more , things that he want i dont want , than end up quarreling , maybe i really should let him go , i feel hurt rather than he feel unhappy . what is love ? i dont know and i dont want to understand more.

2010-04-29T23:14:00.000+08:00

Today super tired , long & tiring day for me .

lazy to type le , pictures will do the talking (:

2010-04-26T23:56:00.000+08:00

Loves ! (:

HAMSTER!!! AHHHHHHHH! GIANT.

2010-04-23T02:09:00.000+08:00

Human involved : ALDRIC , SHANHUI , JIHAO , MUNTENG ,GERALDINE & TANZIXUAN (:

game played : blackjack , majong & true or dare .

what we did while play true or dare :

*kiss on lips

*hold hand & walk one big round

*bite one coconut tree leave from the coconut tree
*bite some natural wild flowers
*Lick the pillar
*Lick the Table
*Top naked & walk around
*Some erxin acts ( some style , only people there understand ^^ )
*Drink water than pass to another person by mouth
*kiss hand
*kiss cheek
& please update me if i forget anything (:

Pictures !

2010-04-21T22:38:00.000+08:00

爱情好像流沙，随它去吧，我不害怕

2010-04-20T18:52:00.000+08:00

Deep deep thinking ,

has been crying from yesterday till today morning 4am ,

ALDRIC accompany me all the way (: thanks ~

telling him every single thing that is kept in my heart he told me everything too ~

feel so good after saying everything out (:

thanks aldric for being my listening ear when i need someone (:

my heart is still in confusion ,

maybe a few more days of thinking i will have a answer once and for all (:

ALDRIC CHEW YOU ARE APPRICIATED (: <3

loves .

2010-04-19T16:49:00.002+08:00

feeling so lost today,

didnt know what to do , than can get back the feeling when we first met up ,

seriously tired with this kind of life , i dont know how long more can i still stay strong ,

i hope one day , he will realise that i really love him ,

struggling through every obstacles , yes , is breaking me apart .

i am not so strong as you imagine .

it never fail to make me cry whenever i think you changed so much.

i will give you time to change . i know changing need time (:

hope you keep your promise (:i just hope one day you could tell me,

how you really feel deep in your heart .

Are you missing me like how i miss you ?

2010-04-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

Life is getting boring , fcuk .

Sometimes , i just wish to last with you , and have a simple and lovely relationship with you,

i admit i'm tired of the quarrel everyday .

why cant you change ? i have change so much & yet nothing seem to improve .

i know without me you still could live to your fulless.

without you , i am seriously nothing or make it a simple way ?

you dont even need me in the first place .

I have done what ever it takes to make you smile , i'm tired , i am a human !

if you think what ever i do is still not enough for you , than simply leave my life .

Because this is the last solution to make you smile .

i'm sorry to love you so much , maybe is all my fault to appear in your life ,

or maybe is my fault to give you a chance to step in my life ?

i nvr thought you will change so much ,

i thought it will be easy to last with you , but you prove me all wrong .

i miss you , not the you now , but the old you .

2010-04-17T16:25:00.000+08:00

sometimes ,
i only could pray ,
to hope that god would let me and him go alittle longer
, every extra day , is seems like a miracle to me .
who knows the future ? maybe next minute i wont be with him anymore ,
maybe , next minute he dont belong to me anymore.
obstacles , are getting harder , is never easy to maintain a relationship .
a few more days jiu 7 months le. ^^ very happy ~
i will still love you . i promise my feeling will never change * pinky promise *

will you stay faithful?
like you say you always do?

♥

2010-04-16T21:11:00.000+08:00

Pictures do the talking today .

Buy This stuff for daddy ~

Daddy 's having back pain , i didnt know which is good for him .

♥erzi

Munteng (=

♥ a day at woodlands ~

2010-04-15T22:25:00.000+08:00

Today , waked up late but still go to bathe , prepare my things to school . Than i tried to find my key to get out of the door , i spended almost a few hours to find the key , so in the end , saw my mummy's key on the table , she left key for me , she know i misplace the key . so i get out the house , than i see it is so late , when i reach there , school already end , so no point going , so i sms-ed jihao ask him where is he , than he say , near your house area than i stund . why the hell he is here at the early of the day ? So went over to meet jihao , than off to meet hubby at woodland, so went to eat at the japanese restraunt hubby's working at (: quite expensive . saw hubby quite hardworking (: than saw chee hon than accompany him around also . than jiu off to minitoons with jihao . (:

ichiban sushi ~

Minitoons picture ♥

Thanks jihao for the woderful picture taking (:

& hubby just came back from work , && he's asking thousand & one question why i never pick his call after i go off & why i never reply sms after his work but ... i <3 it (: hubby also cursing and swearing the china chief because the china chief was saying slang chinese & hubby just cant fucking understand a word that china guy is saying so he ask again , than he kana scold , than he jiu say if not because he want to save money to buy that ring for me , he jiu throw the sushi at the china chief face . Lol , laughs , funny la (: && good news is i am slowly getting use to the life now . at the end of the day , he still concern about me . i hope this will last.

*pray* hope hubby's work will lighten for him ~

JIAYOU !

loving you may be the last thing i want to do ,

because there is no way to leave you , a silly boy all alone in the dark ,

i know you will be lost , maybe like what people say , i am the one who changed your life ,

the one that motivated you to work & study .

so last but not least , hope no more break break le

* pinky finger *

Promises . No more empty promises ? Let's see .

2010-04-15T09:22:00.002+08:00

After he get his pay he is going to

♥ Buy our ring

♥ A treat of pepper lunch ( i requested from him , he say he want bring me to sweensen but i dw)

♥ Buy his wallet ( He 's buying wallet for me too ~ )

♥ Buy his shirt

♥ Put back the money i use from my bank ~

♥ $$$ for me (:

For what i promise him

♥ Couple necklace

( only if i got the cash ,

but if you dont mind i can take money from the bank,

than you put back for me )

Not going to tell people we already patch

until we are really really stable .

&& you say no more empty promise ?

Let's see .

Hope EVERYTHING will be better * Close my eyes && pray pray & give a cheeky smile *

You may neglect me alot, but at the end of the day ,
you always say , work is so hard ): have to stand all the day
Than when i say work is like that the super tiring , i know feel like giving up.
and when you cut my sentence and say
no i never think of giving up , because each and every time when i am working , i think of the ring. I want to work hard to prove to you that i will change , to prove to you i love you .

*Tanzixuan's thinking : hmmmm, where the hell did you learn this sentence from ? *

*give a smile *

*Tanzixuan's thinking :at least you take the effort to be sweet *

Hope you did what you say ~

tata for today ~
stay tune for more more exciting story ~

2010-04-14T15:04:00.000+08:00

I will keep everything to myself than to tell you ,
is better to know that you dont know ,
than to know that you dont even care .

nothing seems to make me believe we can make it forever

2010-04-14T12:04:00.000+08:00

Blogging in the middle of the lesson , is just too bored for me to stay focus on the teacher , but i still have to attend lesson because my attendence is 32 % laughs ! Lol . Think will be going to ask my contact lens pricing, so so so long , never buy contact lens le . Hahaha! but this time i going to buy redddd . hope is wont be very very expensive . Going to work soon , to put back the money i taken out from my bank account , OMG! stressing siars . Ok laas , at night than upload picturesss !

tata bye!

2010-04-13T20:33:00.000+08:00

Pictures of the lonely day~

After school , when back to amk ,

than have my hair cut than cheese fries ,

than jiu home sweet home ,

super bored that whyes took picture with baby devil (:

Devil loves ~

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2010-04-12T14:45:00.000+08:00

pictures do the talking.

Xiaobinggggg.

Find a insect here~

This is a toilet . OMG~

Kumpong~

No more pictures !~

Byeeeeee!

2010-04-11T00:26:00.000+08:00

Today is a super tired & long outing day .

Hubby was at xiaobing house for yesterday night , so he was using internet yesterday , went to his facebook to take a look , saw him asking number from other girls , blood was boiling . wanted to kill people . started show hubby 1000000000000 different kinds of fcuking attitude , he was still quite patient with me at first . than after a few hours he start to lose his patient .

so , for mine thinking , fine you dont want care , than be it . than in msn , i tell him i am not going to care anymore be yourself , he tell me something which hit right into my heart : cant i have one more chance to change ? help abit than angry again so quarrel till morning 4 plus , broke up with him , i told him , i dont have feeling for me , and i am not going out with him and xiaobing tommorow , so when xiaobing woke up for awhile , hubby tell xiaobing , ah mei not going le , we just broke up . than xiaobing ask why ? than next second he fall asleep .

so i called hubby , and tell him , than hear hubby sobbing , than my heart just went down like this , down and down and down , than i say, not i dont love you , is just that i want you to be happy , i want you to be yourself , but sorry i am selffish , i dont like my boyfrient to settle things in the middle of th night , and go out without telling me . i am not good enough to be your girlfriend , so ... this is mine reason . than hubby still sobbing , and than i say , HAHAHAHAH! good what now freeedom liaos leis , tmr go enjoy alright ? than he still sobbing .

than i jiu say want be togerther can .... restart everything , than he say ok ! than he jiu say , if u can wake up tmr morning than say bahs , if not jiu forget it lo . so me slept at 6 and drank cough mixture because sick , and i accidently drank 3 mouth full . the feeling sucky , floating in the air ~ stupid medican so strong.

and guess what? i woke up at 8am , but the medican drowsyness is still there so i stand up , and off i go faint at my bed , just one blink and black out . woke up at 9 plus . they still haven wake up , because say liaos 10am meet , than 10 plus hubby call say me and xiaobing just wake up , than i say ok . so i go prepare , than off we go orchard , buy Ralph Lauren if you guess got no idea what is it , is the polo shirt with the horse ~ and because i am wearing that than acc xiaobing go buy , thought they will serve us .

than lousy service fuck ! never come serve , than i jiu find the shirt for xiaobing than he go test jiu go pay money and the shirt cost 170 dollars ~ ok laas , pricing still okok la(: than jiu off to bugis because xiaobing want buy cap than jiu say one limited edition the cap for 80 than he jiu buy , than jiu off go beach road to see 2 belt he bought 2 one for 28 another for 35 . than jiu cab down to xiaobing house .

xiaobing sister and brother super sticky , xiaobing 's brother , lucas , super sticky to me , xiaobing's sister luna super sticky to hubby . than hubby jiu want kiss me than lucas jiu go whack hubby face , than i jiu tell hubby , he dont want let you kiss me , than hubby like dont believe he jiu try again , than hubby cant whack again -.-'' than luna jiu want play with hubby than hubby ingore her , than luna jiu sit at one corner , than i jiu ask luna why ? than she say i very sad , kor kor dont want me . than she jiu hug hubby than want kiss hubby , than jiu kiss dao liaos , than hubby jiu cover himself , than luna jiu say: he dont want me ): than lucas kissed my face alot of times -.-'' omg , alittle chua sai . ahahhahah!

than off to pub at geylang . super lazy to carry on type , tmr still need wakie up early .
byeee! update tmr ~ bye with loves ~

2010-04-09T20:10:00.000+08:00

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Love is in the air ~

Logging off . byeee!

2010-04-08T17:34:00.000+08:00

Let me type some letters to my blog (:

Today , 4am was half ways to my dream land , than handphone , than saw hubby's name appear on my phone ~ replied a few of his message and off to my dream land , than today 1pm luhs , hubby start spamming call to my phone , waked up than answer this phone call , than my coughing was uncontrolable , _l_ hubby first time take the effort to call me (: super happy :D

2010-04-06T20:35:00.000+08:00

Babyzixuan is sick , so no pictures until she is well

today , hubby bring me to see doctor , got so many medican to eat 7 different kind , and alot of drowsy medican , and i am typing this while i am half awake , super tired , i really love hubby alot , ok laas , thanks hubby for the days , thank you hubby i love you .

220909 .
ily , Lot of love.

2010-04-05T21:44:00.002+08:00

Super sick ):

& i'm missing my boy.

2010-04-04T21:13:00.000+08:00

Time passes so fast & the chalet is over too . i'm not sad because of the chalet , i am just feeling so sad that hubby is not beside me . all his coldness start over again , hmmm, wonder when things will change better for us? super super sick , how i wish hubby is here to hug me . i seriously misses the time spended together . hubby~ i really hope to see you tommorow , maybe when i am asleep , you just appear beside me . i know it wont happen bahs ): haish , me and my imaginations drving me crazy . no pictures for the day , will update picture once there is pictures to update . ): hubby , i misssss you so much , are you missing me like how i am missing you ? ): 220909 , iloveyou .

2010-04-03T23:37:00.002+08:00

Tanzixuan is falling very sick soon ):
& hoping Tanshanhui can take care of me ):
chalet rotting~

2010-04-03T17:12:00.002+08:00

My love~
bye!

2010-04-02T19:48:00.000+08:00

Lazy update ta ta for now~
my boy is busying using his phone and not talking to me ,
now he is just accompany them ~ ok laaas! byeeee!

2010-04-02T03:23:00.000+08:00

Picture Of the day

Tanshanhui's girl

Tanzixuan 's hubby

you left footprint in my heart

The hearts (:

The melody ~

ILOVEYOU

First night at chalet , and was enjoying ourself , swimming , pick sea shell , took picture && JACUZZI ( hope i didnt spell wrong ) hubby 's now sleeping and i am going to sleep now , want accompany him ~ That all for today , will update more picture tmr ! ~ byeeeee~

2010-03-31T19:21:00.001+08:00

Happy happy no quarrel today ~

2010-03-31T17:06:00.003+08:00

Coversation between my mother and me in the facebook :

mummy : remember to buy dinner lehs

me: ok la

mummy: lallalllallla

me: SIAO AH!
mummy: no la
me : zzzz

mummy: i sent u invitation to new game leh

Me: dont want luhs, so many game.hahah!play tiki resort luhs

Mummy: aiyo...obasa

Me: tiki resort fun leis .eh? si mi obasa ?

mummy: o ba sa

Me: you than o ba sa

Mummy: old woman la! got new game u don play then u r o ba sa loh .lol

Me: LOL ,dun want laas ~

mummt: AIYO! u so o ba sa leh

ME: go play your game laas!

mummy: LOL

Lol , irrtated ! hahahha! that's my mum .

she can be so LOL at times ~ =.=

That leads me to CRAZYNESS!

2010-03-31T13:17:00.000+08:00

Forget to post this yesterday :

Hubby's Hand is Getting well very fast~

( jiayou ! (: but plese dont fight when your hand get well ~ i know you well enough (: )

2010-03-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

TANZIXUAN's BOY (:

Retarded <3

( hubby's drunk today ~ )

Hubby buy waffle for me (:

What we do today (:

Super lots of quarrel today , and break up once today , than i was super tired to care so much since he want break than break , in the end , patched back , break and patch has been a part of our daily life. Today when to hubby's house in the morning , than off we go meet hubby's uncle . They start order lot of tiger , so hubby & his uncle start drinking , than his uncle offered me and hubby cir , so take than awhile more he give again , so we take again , than he give again , than i say dont want liaos but hubby got take , he is a heavy smoke , than uncle smoke again , than uncle tell hubby your girlfriend say you cant smoke so much you cant smoke liaos , than when uncle's going off , he gave hubby $10 , he ask hubby to fetch me home . than reached amk , walk and walk when to play the sweet sweet machine , get the toy toy spending $4. will take picture of the toy soon , saw that bitch , fking dulan , start saying super loud , eh hubby your wife over there leis , never go find her ah ? than hubby super dulan , bcus it was already the past lerhs , but how am i supose to forget that she once love you when i am with you , and when i am with you, you love her. start all bull shit until hubby super dulan . me also dulan lor . in the end quarrel , really if there is a chance to talk to that bitch i'm going to slap her bloddy face , aint she shameful to flirt around with a guy which got girlfriend? phui! in the end , hubby called me first .

overall enjoy myself today , so happy (:

but that bitch spoil my bloody day!

220909 , forever ~

2010-03-29T22:38:00.000+08:00

CRAVING FOR TATTOO

[ Love me for who am i , ]

[i wont stop anything that i want to do ]

[If you cant love me for who am i]

[than get out of my friend list !]

2010-03-29T19:48:00.000+08:00

Super bored la ! omg , spending few days , rotting at home , before the hoilday i was think to spend most of my time out and enjoy my self & now is like shit lor , staying at home almost every single day , from the start of the hoilday . Little devil is so playful cant stand her ! wonder when she can keep her flat mouth quiet ! ): luckily got my baobei earpiece to block those barking from my ear ^^ Tmr going meet that FUCKER , hope can take more photos! (: wonder if he want to take photo anot .

Byeeeee! will update photo tommorow (:

3 more day to chalet (:

2010-03-28T16:16:00.000+08:00

Photo of Baby Devil ~

Baby Devil :D

2010-03-28T01:20:00.000+08:00

Picture Of The Day

Take picture due to boredness , 3 days life without hubby really so boring, omg , i missing him so much ): haish , wonder if he got miss me anot ? i hope he do ! (: arguement leading me to tiredness , talking to him half way, he say he is tired . haish , sometimes , life is just too tired for me to move on , i want to take a long sleep , i mean like 12 hours sleep , i hope my life could change back to the past when lots of laughter , but i never find them back again . byeeee!~

__________________________________________________________________________

2010-03-27T01:23:00.000+08:00

♥ Picture Of The Day

♥ Erzi

In ♥ With The Show 死魂曲

2010-03-25T21:20:00.000+08:00

My BOY~

alot of quarrel every now than , Tears start to break down every now and than , even when hubby hug me i cry so badly . hubby , 220909 .

2010-03-23T20:26:00.000+08:00

Hubby's Property !

The Tan COUPLE ~

Picture of the day ^

Tanzixuan's property !

Hubby & co.

what we do when we ton (:

hubby, come over to amk to find me , we was all slacking throughout the morning , than when i went back home to get poker card and charge my phone , that stupid dog keep bark so pissed off , than after hubby also show me some attitude because i cant go out , because the dog keep bark , than after that i just went out i didnt care if the dog going to bark or what . so off i go down , than quarrel with hubby , i walked away & it was 3am plus in the morning, i feel so empty ): i wonder are we still couple . haish , than walked so far , he went looking for me , in the end, i tell him , i am around that place, than he managed to find me , than after that we go to tampinese , to meet ah jie , than go her house to sleep (: super tired, and now , i am fking tired also . that all ~

hope we can last bahs (:

i love you tanshanhui

2010-03-22T19:09:00.000+08:00

happy 6 months what we do

* Arguement

*Half way through break

*Went out without me knowing

*&& lastly i know i may not the important girl in your heart anymore (:

Time have changed you so much ,

sorry to say i cant reconigse you ,

i trying to be the perfect girl you want ,

i am trying to smile when your words hurt so much

i am trying to save this relationship , yet you have the thoughs of giving up .

sorry this are word from the bottom of my heart .

220909 , 6months and counting on , and i dont know how far can this goes on ~

2010-03-22T03:15:00.001+08:00

I'm In Love With This Picture(:

Hubby You wont mind i love her right ? XD

Because i know you love her too~

2010-03-22T01:07:00.000+08:00

Happy 6 MONTHS !

happy 6 months message to hubby:

happy 6 months :) we have make it ! another month have pass:) time passes so fast and slow at the same time:) half a year has gone and i'm still proud to say i'm your girl :) i may not be the unfaithful , heartless and strong girl anymore , but i am still me :) i still love the way you hug me, the way you kisses my life away and lastly i still love the way i have you . i dont want to see a guy who have emotions turn so cold , i want to know why you angry when you angry , why you sad , why you jealous , i want to know everything about you first and not last. i want to hear every story of your life . i want to be the girl , you love , you hug, you kiss and your everything . i will love you forever and will never break with you :) i know i have been super unreasonable, give me more love and care, let me get rid of the fear in me , no more break, no more lie alright? you dont like me to lie to you , i also dont like you to lie to me alright ? Laopo going to love you forever :) and i'm waiting for the ring ! 7 month WE are coming ~ :) just hope less arguement :) lastly boy , happy 6 months my dear boy :) tanzixuan <3 tanshanhui. 220909:) i'm willing to take care of you for life:) you will be the first boy that go through 6 months of my life and will be the last :) wife love hubby :)

Happy 6 month message to ME ~

happy 6 months anniversary. we went through lighting and storm. i believe this time we will know how to save this relatinship more . and i believe we will trust each other more :) iloveyou :)

byeeeee~

2010-03-21T23:08:00.002+08:00

What happen today :

BMW break down ~

Waited for starhub thing for 2 hours

Buy a Square Bread

Looking Forward:

April Chalet on april FOOL (:

50 more minutes to happy 6 months

going to put tattoo with xiaobing soon (:

2010-03-21T00:56:00.000+08:00

Took 2 random picture of hubby (: after yesterday quarrel , i feel so lack of confident ): keep thinking that hubby will break with me , because he dont love me or got other girl . but , hubby say he wont break with me and i take his words (: today was whacking hubby's head with the pink colour spiky thing , he also whack my head with it (: was running in the room and super loud laughters ! than daddy quite annoy with me ~ beacause was laughing so dame loudly , my brother was also laughing at me and my hubby!

thanks for the day ~

hubby ! (: i love you super lots laas (:

evendo , you forget about happy 6 month , bbut you promise me you will rmb happy 7 months ,

i hope you do (: ok laas ! that all for today

tadaaaa~ BYEEEEE! happy 5 months 3 weeks and 6 days

2010-03-20T11:54:00.000+08:00

Since the day that we met boy
I never had anyone make me feel this way
And my heart is sure it wants to be with you
Wanna give you the whole world

If you make the promise to me, You're gonna stay
Without you guiding me, I'm lost and so confused

Boy I got you and I want to give you what you never had

Boy everyday I hope to make you part of my life

I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last

And though we both made our mistakes
And some we never wish we made
But we'll be okay if we just stay together

I've done my share of playing games
But for you I given up that life

Baby you're the one I've waited for
Because you gave me what I need and more

Boy its clear that we are meant to be
Together,
We should be together ....
Eternally

[ When i knew you forget about our happy 6 months , you really make me feel like dieing , at the point i keep asking myself what am i to you ? when you tell me you dont have money to travel down i was like ok (: , than when i find out the next day you are going to meet your friends , how do i feel ? you say you was just thinking not comfirm got go meet them anot , you can even think want to go down , but when i need you , do you even think of coming to meet me ? Sorry is mine faulth , for not having friends when you meet me so you can not feel so bored , i dont have so many friends like you do ]

2010-03-19T19:22:00.001+08:00

A story that bring tears..

A story worth sharing.

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable in taking care of the house and the kid. And that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'. It was a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bed sheet and blanket.

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation,

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind! you because I was playing with my toys... I am sorry Dad."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks... but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my tears. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When every thing was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since that episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, "I am sorry, Dad".

But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's Mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no Mummy..

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around because he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It is winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passersby. Christmas carols and frantic shoppers. Alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post officer was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee.

Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I could not help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, "I'm sorry, Dad" and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, why during this time of the year?

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was, "The letters were for Mummy."

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him, "But why did you post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was, "I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the post box, I could reach it and I sent it all at once."

After hearing this, I was lost.. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.

I told my son, "Son, Mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach Mummy." My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but could not help opening the letters before they turn into ash.

One of the letters broke my heart.

"Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn't help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason.

Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very, very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you?

I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But Mummy, why haven't you appear?"

After reading the letter, I can't stop sobbing.Is when I know I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife...

2010-03-19T17:06:00.005+08:00

When tears are uncontrollable ,

and when you are not there when i need you ,

i will tell myself it's ok (:

2010-03-18T23:40:00.002+08:00

Picture of the day ! (:

The RETARDED couple :)

Bully ~ )':

Property of TANSHANHUI (:

TanZIXUAN's BOY ~

The TWO DADDY of ALDRIC CHEW ~

seee~ my hubby teaching munteng how to play pool~ 2 lovely daddy of aldric chew (:

HUBBY & CO

GIBSON~

Still GIBSON~

F4 (:

Finally get to see my FUCKER , after 2 days & 1 quarrel , he head down to amk to accompany me , so swweet of hubby ~ than meet munteng than off i go to amk hub , than meet up with junjing than off we go to bubble tea shop , than went to meet munteng again (: Than hubby went to amk , to meet Jihao and Gibson. After i finishing dinner off i go amk hub to meet hubby & co . Than went pool & meet munteng again (: than after that HOME SWEET HOME.

Hubby , forever is how long i am going to stay ,

you are the only boy , that i want to be with

3 words for you ILOVEYOU ! ~

220909 & counting on.

5months3week2day

2010-03-17T20:42:00.000+08:00

wasnt a good day today , was super tired , and pushing myself to school , on the way to school was just super bored , and was ponning almost every lesson , i only went for the laast lesson (: have nice nice nice day today , than off for exam , super shag , was doing slowly until teacher ask me , you doing one or two ? than i blur , than wha, got two ah ? than me alone , finishing the one first , than slowly figue out how to do the second question , than omg , what i say was , i dont know how to do . than i jiu give up lerhs . really i tried super long for that question ): than off i go , when amk get my things jiu home sweet home ! (:

LOVEMY TANSHANHUI,220909 (: <3

2010-03-16T21:06:00.000+08:00

My Daily love (: TanShanHui XD .

My ERZI

Loh Munteng & aldric chew

Retarded pictures~ -.-''

The FATHER & The SON !

Two idoits ! ~

Today went to school as usual , was super tired really really super not enought sleep, wanted to sleep in the bus but the bus keep shake and shake , machum dance disco , than i not long jiu reachy school le (: waited for TANSHANHUI HUBBY's MESSAGE (: for like a few hour , thought can see him today but in the end , not managed to see him lor , after exam when to cafe 1 with my friend , than saw the SON & the FATHER , long story laas ~ than they want take picture cus so long never take so take for them (: was my idea also (: hahah! than go amk , to get some stuff (: than home sweet home , TANSHANHUI i misses you (:

That all for today ! (:

thanks for reading please TAG! thanks you ! (:

happy 5 months 3 weeks & 1 day .

2010-03-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

spend 2 minutes to cut that word out (: not emo , just that i cant find paper (:

Today went back to school again , super tired beacause sleep at 4am plus , than 6 plus 7 jiu wakie up , after i bathe finish , i jiu go back my room wanted to change clothes than in the end , fall asleep -.-'' super tired , than woke up at 10 plus , than reach school at 12pm , was very tired . than leave school at 4 , didnt care (: we should leave at 5 but i just leave at 4 , off i go meet my hubby , xiaobing and ah jie . haish super siens siars (: than awhile more jiu home sweet home . baby, iam missing you so so so badly .

2010-03-14T21:24:00.000+08:00

so many ups and down ~
but both of us still keep our promise ,
we never say out the word that we shouldn't say .
i am so happy that hubby still rmb this little promise of ours (:
i'll be waiting , for hubby morning call to wake me up for school tmr .
i also unsure that will he be able to wake up to call me and message me for school anot .
really hope this time he can remember to wake up to call me lor (:
hubby , happy 5 months 2weeks and 6 days . iloveyou ,
i promise i will never leave , no matter what (:
hubby , i really hope things will get better
for us (: i miss the times ,when
you care for me so much (:
really hope thing could change back to the past (:
hubby , forever and now , i love you ! my everything :D

2010-03-14T11:46:00.000+08:00

i cant stand the pain , i feel like sleeping , my life away can i ? no sms , no call , no anything . maybe... i am just your burden .

2010-03-14T01:35:00.001+08:00

Hubby , here to post , misses you so so so badly , didnt want to sms you because scare later you think i very annoying or what , kinda DEPRESSION alone now , haish , it just 5 hours ago i didnt see you and is driving me crazy , i cant imagine the life without you . yes , i might missing you badly but i am controlling myself from typing messages to your phone , so i am here keeping my hand super busy , i am missing you , but you aint here for me. haish , you ARE now enjoying yourself i am here , depressing myself . quite rhyme isn't it . haish , wonder if i could see you tommorow ? why i don have friends ? so maybe i wont be so lonely and depressing myself .trying to smile but it is useless . one week and one day more , jiu 6 months tgt le . (: haish , so slow the time passes ~ hope now is happy 100 years , and you will be dead by the time, so am i . so nobody will snatch you away from me , maybe the female ghost might snatch you away , but i will take alot of tailsman to scare them away ! (: hahah! so funny , i cant imagine i just invented a joke just like this , laughing to myself while i am reading . but you are not here to share the JOKE . hubby can promise me dont leave me alone like this anymore? can ? i know cannot but just talking to myself over here , i know i am fucking retarted that i just asked myself a question and i answer it my myself , i knw i am talking to myself . omg ! i just laugh the hell out of myself

hahah! when i spell the retarded , i was saying retart , retart , tart, tart , tart , tart , retarded .lol . funny siars . cant stop laughing . Lol.

i really learn to keep every single thing in my heart , keeping all the sadness, the pain , the anger , the fear everything , why show out and no body is there for you ? why wait till the middle of th night just to wait for his one phone call or message , why am i so stupid ? i keep asking myself this question , haish , he is there enjoying i am here worrying . maybe i should just drink and get drunk so that i can forget everything . that all i want to say , fking hell 3.22am . i am fking worry ): haish ~~~~ i should close my eyes and everything will be fine again . (: iloveyou~ 5 months 2 week 6days .

2010-03-12T21:45:00.000+08:00

Let talk about this little creature over here , she aint a toy dog (:
this is creature over here , uses her innocent face to bluff human that say OWWH~ so cute!
Name: Rocher Tan
Age : 2 years plus
DOB : 03/09/07
make her angry : she will show you the bitchest bitch ! XD .
sensetive word : who is that ( if you hear me saying this , run for your life (: before her attack! )
favourite thing to do : ( woof ! Woof!! WOOf!! WOOF!! W O O F!!!??? ....... )
attack : everything that is moving , even you play with toy helicopter , she will jump and ATTACK! Sleep: she sleep almost every hour !

2010-03-11T21:34:00.000+08:00

to someone :

i think you should know who are you after you finish reading this post , not here to say bad things or spread any rumors, we human tend to get very sensetive towards someone you really love , and those emotion sometimes are uncontrolable , i am here to say , trust and treasure when you have him , dont wait till the day , when he start to give up , you really cant find him back .

me and myself have gone through all this , i understand how it feel when you really want a person badly but you just cant get him back . when you start to cry and die , it just seems useless . is not they dont love you , is just they are tired of the arguement each and everyday . , yes , mmy boy he came back to me , but he seems to be a stanger to me, he changed so much , sometimes, you just have to hide under the pillow and remind yourself , get to sleep and tmr will be fine . but , the tears just cant flowing . the pain is unbearable . This is your life , this are the obstacles that are stopping both of you together , so be strong . pass throught one obstacles one by one . even you have to pass throught it your self , slowly pass , because arguement cant last a life time, one day eventually it end . sometimes , saying what you feeel to each and other is VERY IMPORTANT so hope if you go back to him , say every single tiny little things out .. all the best to you (:

babyzixuan , has being facing alot of obstacles alone (: & sometimes , he will be there for you too .

2010-03-10T19:19:00.001+08:00

Got one new spare phone before my DARLING HAZEL come out (: so in love with that phone , so unlimited free sms. so hubby say , he want me to type a super long message for him , so i type from woodland till amk , super long.

than when i call hubby he sound like sad sad , i thought what happen to him , so i hang up , than i re-call after 20 minutes ,than i know is because he argue with his parents . haish , thought he will be happy reading my message , in the end , he say he haven read , than i super sad , haish . ok laas that all for today , byeeeeee~

2010-03-09T21:03:00.007+08:00

Had fight with hubby , ended up , injury ):

super fun so long never fight with him le .

now super tired , & daddy and mummy is nagging now ,

while i typing . slept for 1 hours for the last 24 hours . and is really killing me .

maybe what daddy say was right (: we got our own choice to be bad or good , if we really want to study , is not the matter of stupid or clever , and not the matter of having bad company in your school . is the matter if you have the heart to study and you got your own rights to choice your path . sorry daddy i know this 2 months i have disappoint you alot, for that, dad i am sorry , i know you care for me , i know , that what ever i want you wil get for me , no matter how much money i want you will give . yes , a wrong path in my life lead me to this path , dad , i love you and i also love my boy.

I choose my boy because i believe he will change , i believe one day he will go study , i believe he will love me and be faithful , yes , i may be stupid to think this way but ... i got faith in him , if the end , he leave me , i dont know what to say (: i know he is poor , i never blame him for that , he aint super good looking , and i never thought of finding a better looking guy , he might have super bad attitude , but ... i will hope he change . Dad , trust me alright ? i believe this boy of mine will change to a better person , even till the end i have to suffer with him (: i dont mind because this is life , not everybody will have rich family , even i ended up por , i will have no one to blame (: i willing to give this love life of mine a bet (:

daddy ,mummy , is not i dont care about this family , is just words that cant explain , how much you guys meant to me (: i promise i will overcome the fear and go study , no matter how crazy i go , no matter how badly i going to cry , i will learn to overcome . because i rmb , i say , life is going to move on (: i know you guys always remind me to think what if one day he leave me , i know you guys worry about me , but sorry i dont dare to think about it , because i just cant imagine the life without him .

& baby boy , deep inside your heart, only you , your ownself know yourself well ,only you know if you are really loving me anot ? baby , i believe that you will change that why no matter how many empty promises you gave i didnt blame you (: & you can simply just kill me , by saying break . and yes, god gave us lot of obstacles, to test how strong are we and we prove it to god that we face everything together hand in hand (: but i didnt treasure my life , times and times , i feel like ending my life just like this . i believe forever is how long i will lvoe you (: and i know you are my everything .baby~ i will stay super faithful & my heart for you will never change (: TANSHANHUI is the tattoo , that wil stay at my heart forever (:

Hubby , i will wait till the day , you hold my hand , walk through the crowd , and say yes i do & that will be the day , worth my waiting (:

babyzixuan (: just love her life now .

and boy , i really hope you are gg to be the one that is going to hold my hand till the end , and be forver with me , because of you , i learn to love again (: hubby thanks for your everything .

SILLYZIXUAN logging off~
220909 , i love you ~!
5months 2weeks 2 days & counting on~

2010-03-09T15:35:00.001+08:00

Today , ton all the way till morning , super tired . but , forced myself to be awake (: than was playing viwawa game with aldricCHEW , he was cursing & swearing the players -.-'' LOL! than i went downstairs to buy food for me and myself (: blacky carrot cake (: than went home , finish my food (: than viwawa again . than after that after around 11 i went to sleep (: zzz . than hubby 12 am plus wakie me up . now i am super lack of sleep ): hubby got the key into my house (: thats why , he will suddently appear infront of me . CHUAsai (: ok laas , pictures for the day .

Thats all for today ~
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
view & TAG thanks you !

2010-03-09T08:19:00.001+08:00

爱教了我

跌倒后要爬起来

心很痛的事后，就闭上眼睛

很想很想他的事后就逼自己去睡觉

爱也教了我

失去后永远也找不回来当初的爱

人变了也不会变回当初的自己

爱一个人很容易，但看着自己爱的人变了，根本都不容易接受。

应为到现在我还是接受不了，你变的事实。

老公还是一声对不起，
以前伤害你，可是你没有给我一个好的机会。
给我一辈子的时间，让我弥补以前的伤。
可以吗？

老婆陈姿璇爱老公陈善辉

2010-03-08T18:51:00.000+08:00

Happy 5 months 2 weeks (: hubby! iloveyou .

hubby , i promise i will never leave you (: no many what attitude you show i will learn to smile (: hubby , i will never leave you alone in the dark (: boy , i love you . 5 months 2 weeks i love you !

2010-03-08T00:03:00.000+08:00

What kind of crazy bitch i am :

You are one psychotic bitch. Sweet when you want to be but tough as nails when you need to be. Your parents are assholes and you have developed a nasty hate on for the world. You are disgusted by humanity and are not afraid to make them pay. You want revenge. You want infamy. Even if it means getting your hands dirty. You do have a sweet side and a fondness for unruly, angry, psycho badboy prince charming types but think most men are repulsive slimeballs that remind you of your father. You would do anything for true love.

What kind of tattoo should i get :

You should get an Animal Tattoo! You are are real an animal whisper! You feel a connection with animals. You think animals are a necessity to be happy in your life. You probably have a favorite dog in your life, that you love to take to the park. Or maybe a nice cat th...at you love to snuggle with at night while watching a move. You enjoy both a nice relaxing night at home or a party out on the town with your friends. You are loyal and you really love to represent yourself in a way that others can understand... It might be a bird in flight or a tiger in a battle, but you want people to understand who you are and what you love! Suggestions: Your favorite animal as a child or the animal you've been told represents your soul.

The real me :

You love. You believe that everyone has a true love. You can\'t imagine what life would be like without love. Whether you have a significant other or not, you seek to find one. You keep your friends and family close because they make your heart light. You tend to see the beauty in those who can\'t see it in themselves. However, you tend to fall to hard and too fast for someone and can tend to cause a broken heart. You\'ll get over it eventually, but you will soon be searching for another. Should you ever forget love, you will never know who you truly are.

&& hubby suddently call me , while i was facebook-ing half away . than he say channel 8 got scary show . chua sai bodoh , but got few very funny . ok laas that all for now . ! byeee!

2010-03-07T20:33:00.001+08:00

Retarded COUPLE XD

The Fcuker i'll always love (:

From friday to sunday (: hubby have been spending every minute with me (: i super love him . a few time of arguement , during this 3 days , but manage to stop solve the problem in 10 to 20 minutes time (: hubby has been a silly baby (: & both of us has been super tired, we ton each and every single day . super tired now , today 7 am plus than sleep . and we have lots of laughters too . ok laas ! that all for today .

Thanks for reading (:

happy 5 months & 13 days ! :D

Hubby , i know i have been controling alot , but you just listen to what i say (: sometimes i know you dont tell me things is because you scare i will worry for you , for this i understand (: hubby , i can see you changing , changing better (: i really happy for me, you and us ! (: laogong , i promise , i will go school asap . you also must go school ok ? i dont want you so fast go army ! (: i dont want my hubby so fast be BOTAH! army boy boy ! hahah! i also will promise when you go army i will not leave you (: will wait for you as long as you want me to wait (: ILVOEYOU ! you are th boy that teaches me , how to love and how to last . : D LOVES!

2010-03-05T23:26:00.002+08:00

pictures do the talking (:

and hubby will be staying at my house today (: HUBBY! i love you ; you are the one that brighten up my day . hahahaha! tmr will be going out with hubby to meet IDOIT & cliques (: only when hubby is with me i feel sercure and not thinking rubbish (: hubby, is now cleaning my room , so good of him (: i love him super much laas ! dont know what happen to him , he start cleaning the whole house -.-'' LOL ! & he ask me go use com than he alone clean up (: THANKS HUBBY , i will always love you .

that all for today !
5months 11 days & counting on.
tanshanhui my FUCKER ! 220909 .

2010-03-05T03:48:00.003+08:00

i want my kung fu panda ): who can find back my kung fu panda ? wooshh finger ? ): i want my kung fu panda ): my kung fu panda , will reply every single message i send , he will call me no matter how tired he is , he will make me smile when ever he can , he will hugg me tight , i know i am kungfu panda's everything . he treasure every single moment spend with him but now i lost my kung fu panda on ... this year january . because in the past i treat him badly , now i want him back can someone find him back for me ?

i can exchange my life to find him back .

2010-03-04T22:51:00.004+08:00

I'd like to run away
From you,
But if you didn't come
And find me...
I would die

i want to have a normal relationship like how other do , wanting my boy to call me , wanting my boy tto make me smile , but ... thing never happen like what i expect , ending up , pillow is my friend (: i start hinding under pillow crying my lungs out . and smile when it hurt so badly . over sensetive , i just hate myself .

2010-03-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

Today wakie up , than start cleaning up the bowls and the cups . than was printing picture (: for hubby , make a calander with our pictures for him . than bathe liaos, jiu straight away go find hubby's uncle.than while waiting for hubby , chat with hubby's uncle for a while when than pass him the photo i make for him , he get a shock (: hahah! think he is happy bahs (: hahaha! than after that when to uncle's house to drink with hubby . didnt drink much .. chat for 3 to 4 hours (: than uncle brain wash me (: hahaha! got effect (: than after than bus down to causeway point , when to buy puzzel than home sweet home.

Quarrel with hubby again ): haish ................ super sad .
that all for today ! byeeeeeeee! 12 more hour to see hubby .

2010-03-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

After thousand time of trying finally can go in my blogger and facebook le .

is there any couple have no arguement ? i wonder how long i have to hide under the pillow and cry , i wonder how many time i have to smile even if i am angry , a couple can just quarrel just like that , but , each quarrel i need to think , will i lose him ? will he be angry ? i have think and think , and i ended up , telling myself , zixuan ! smile and make him smile and less quarrel ... i have been repeating times and times . trying to cheer him up . and understand him more , but is there a chance for me to understand him ?

hhahahahahaha! i am maddddddddddd!

all overdue picture and yesterday picture (:

2010-03-03T12:26:00.000+08:00

Hubby was with me 24/7 (: . he acted like a baby , omg! hahah! than jihao saw his baby act -.-'' LOL! Laughing lor , than me and jihao was playing cards till the morning , and played majong too . than hubby was like helping me , clean up my room (: sparking clean . LOVE him so much ! (: hubby fall asleep first than after that jiu jihao , leaving me all alone staring to the space. than in the end , forced myself to sleep . ok that all for today ! got photo taking and (: mean got picturre to upload le (:

2010-03-01T21:58:00.000+08:00

HELLOS!

Hubby today came to meet me again (: was taking turns looking after fish ( facebook ) . my hubby got the interest to play the lol fish fish game , than i take care . so after play and play. i started play (: HAHAHAH! hubby super cute , when today hubby reach my house i am asleep than he come wakie me up (: than rocher keep jumping on my body , omg lor . than wake up .

went amk hub , than walk half way , jiu chaojia . than i super sad , try to ask him what happen than he dont want tell me , than he start to dont care about me , in the end , i walked alone , and start to drop my tears . than after awhile than i check my handphone and actually there are message and misss call left from him.

called him than he came find me , super sad, than he say go pay bills first so i still drag my heavy leg , than walk with him , than i was at his back walking slowly ): than after that buy cir for him . than he jiu ok lerhs (: now is behind me watching show , watched two show (:

1. The black sheep ( cant find the picture of it )

2 and onezombie show

2010-02-28T19:14:00.002+08:00

Todays post (:

HOROSCOPE

Your Love Horoscope

The people that mean the most to you in your life, such as your family or children, are going to be your focus today, Libra. Anything or anyone that you hold near and dear is going to be emphasized today, and you may simply need to reach out for support today. If you have been feeling a little confused or lost regarding your romantic situation, today would be a good day to simply regroup with someone who loves you and get your feet back on the ground. You can be admired and appreciated for all that love has to offer you, but today you may simply need a break from thinking about it. This is not a melancholy period, but rather one where you can use the energy and love from others to regroup you back on your romantic track.

QUESTION : Name someone you are missing now

I answered: BENTANSHANHUI !

Question : Are you meant to be in love ?

result: Perfect for love.You are the perfect person to fall in love with.

all this are taken from www.facebook.com XD

Happy to say that i trust hubby more lerhs (: even now if he go sleep early i wont think too much , but , sometime , the bitch face will just appear in my mind , than i will start to go crazy again ): didnt tell hubby about this ): later he sure say : dont think too much laaa! haiyo . Hubby this today more good boy le , still remember to reply my sms and answer my call (: and he also take the afford to send me good night message (: i am really happy ! hubby ! i cant wait for the day your hand heal (: HUBBBY I LOVE YOU!

2010-02-28T13:51:00.000+08:00

27 FEB 2010

Yesterday , ask-ed baby to come my house than when he reach mummy is behind him (: haha! than 1 more minute my brother's girlfriend jiu reach than i was like family gathering ah ? than was like showing baby , some er xin picuture than show until i almost vomit out , omg . really ahhh! than after that after eating , mummy and daddy jiu go out leaving 4 of us at home . ask-ed baby to write letter for me , yes , it was untidy but , is just one first letter he write to me (:

while writing tears drop from his eyes , i was like why hand pain pain ah ? than he just shake his head , so i kept quiet and look at his eyes (: after that i ask-ed him , baby why cry just now ? than he say he find himself very useless , want write letter to me also cannot write , than i jiu sayang him , this sentence , really make me feel very happy . (:

so after everything , off me , my brother and my brother's gf went for the dinner that my auntie invite us , it was my cousin 21th birthday , than quarrel with baby ): talk to him than chao jia until very jialat , so after awhile , i hang up the phone due to the phone got problem , so i just send him one message , baby , i really hope to see you later , as we are planing to go out . and yes , he did came out (:

than my brother plan to play pool , so i called baby again , and say kor say go play pool , than he was like how i play '? than i say i also dont know , hahah! than off we go parklane to play pool , super love him ! (: he treat me so good (: only , when he start to stress his injure hand i start to attitude him , than he smile and say , is okay la . is just that , is just painful to see him like this . Than he suddently hug me , than i was like eh ? when you will hug me like that th (: haha! super happy when he hug me (:

play a few hours , than we go mustafa , and than baby went to look at things , so i walk-ed away and hide , than baby jiu walk around looking for me (: than when he find me he give me the cute cute sad face (: OMG! super cute ! than second time i did the same thing , he also come find me than this time , he never let go of his hand he held my hand super tight , even when i look at thing he also hold my hand tight , scare i run away again , than i tell him , you anyhow walk next time , i walk away forever dont come back . the day we had , really bring back th past , i hope baby , always stay this way (:

Hubby , i will never give up on you (: , i will walk with you step by step until your hand is fully heal , i never blame you , for injuring your hand , so never think that you are useless , and i never say , your hand never heal i want break with you , i never say that . baby (: JIAYOU alright ? laopo will always love you , and i promise after your hand heal liaos , i will learn pool from you , you want to teach me right ? (: and swimming (: and the letter you promise you will write (: LAOPO WILL BE THERE FOR YOU ! ILOVEYOU 5 months 6 days and counting on ...

2010-02-26T11:26:00.000+08:00

2010-02-26T11:08:00.003+08:00

Libra horoscope :

You'll focus on the social scene for you, Libra. It's possible that something really important is happening, like a special or commemorative dinner, or some event that you are obligated to attend. There are so many possibilities, but the theme of the day is self-assertion. Maybe you have a role in the event and you'd like to do something more, or have a reason why you really can't do what you've been assigned: let someone know. Standing up for yourself without being impudent or insubordinate is what wins you the prize today.

___________________________________________________________________________

对不起，当初我没有抓紧你的手。现在的你，我几乎不认识你
想说声爱你，已很久可我从来都没有。以前我对你不够好我也很难受
失去了你我才知道你有多重要，现在说后悔也没有用
心虽然很痛只怪自己当初没有将爱说出口。

Today hubby , come over to amk to find me (: super happy ! than walk walk , than buy food for hubby since i got alittle money (: & hubby promise me 220910 he will buy for me a puppy ! ahhhh! cant wait for that day to come (: and on that day it will be our happy 1 year ! woohooo~ zzz , but still got 7 more months to go (: Today hubby give me some stupid idea to make the ring bright bright , in the end leis , spoil the ring ): than hubby dont want me to wear because will make dirty my finger , so now th ring is sleeping in my bag (: ok that all for today , hubby ! i hope what you promise me you will really do it ok ? i will give you time (: LOVE YOU .

happy 5 months 4 days .

2010-02-25T19:08:00.005+08:00

LIBRA HOROSCOPE :

Some challenges in romance may crop up today, Libra, but this is nothing you can't handle today. This is a time where whether you are single or attached, you are at cross purposes with the people in your environment who are most able to benefit you, this includes a current lover or partner. You tend to come on too strong, to be oblivious to others' needs and intentions, or to act inappropriately now. You feel an urgency to take positive steps to achieve your goals, but be certain that you are not overstepping yourself, as this can cause considerable bad feelings at this time. All you need to navigate today's romantic waters with ease is to just soften your approach a little, and you will find those in your romantic environment much more receptive than you may think. Finding things to do , just in case , i start to think so much until mad . hmmm , yea , still feeling very empty , maybe, just want to stick everywhere he goes , but is impossible the laas . i also know the feeling hubby had for me aint the same like how he treat me last time , and yes , he say he need time. so, the time is making the trick againhubby say he love me but dont trust me , and i love him dont trust him also , i aint comparing is that ... in the start of the story when we start to promise that we wont play with each other feeling or leave each other. The whole story is just my fauth , if i never hurt my boy so badly things wont be like this , if i never treated the way i treated him , he will never treat me back this way , if only time could just rewind ... rewind to the days when we are so lovely and sweet , the 3rd time when i see him , is the first time i got his number , the 4th day i know that is the first day i sms him , is just memories , memories are hurtful and pain to think back , still remember once , at chalet he keep asking me want to eat anot , i just shouted back at him . now, i wish he could ask me a hundred times and thousand time , i just want him to hold my hand tight like how he first held my hand. i hope he treasure me like how he once treasure me , how i wish he will love me like how he first love me , i want him to kiss me like how he first touch my lips , in the past , he will cry when i say rubbish , now .... i just dont know what to say . he will call me whenever he breaks with me . in the past , he always want to hold my hand yet i am always the one who let go, now it was him who let go of his hands , in the past it was him who always ask me to sleep at his shoulder. everything just change , so much , so unexpected , i just dont know what to do , really i dont know what to do to just let him be like the past. now is just memories i wanted , i rmb once i scolded him: if you want countinued live in your memories go ahead , than just stop at your memories , just stay . now is my turn , i am the one who want to live in memories , because in memories , you will always held my hand tight , you will always send me home , you will always hug me tight , see me sleep , kiss my forehead , cry for me , ask me if i am hungry . if i am able to close my eyes and stay in my memories , i will sleep throughout my life .
laogong , i really love you , i know you dont love me like how you once love me before ,but i will wait till the day , the day you change back to the boy , i knew .slowly , life aint so easy . 220909 , i love you .5 months 3 days counting on

2010-02-23T23:38:00.001+08:00

Finally done with my blog skin , think hubby will be happy with it (: ily.